**Please check out their website for their annual event date, time and location**
I had the pleasure to chat with Raven Rautenbach who is one of the main people behind a local organization in Manitoba, She Wore Flowers In Her Hair which is in honor of her sister Jaedra. Raven is 25 years old and is currently a Nursing student at Red River College and is a huge advocate for Mental Health. She currently does mental health presentations on the side. In the past she has visited places such as Veterans Affairs Canada, a few High Schools in Winnipeg and surrounding areas. She has also done a few interviews on mental health and has published her own article in Canada Lutheran Magazine for April/May 2018. She’s very ambitious to say the least! Here’s a bit more about what this organization does.
Can you tell us a bit more about She Wore Flowers In Her Hair?
She Wore Flowers in Her Hair is an event for mental health awareness with all proceeds going to Mood Disorders Association of Manitoba. I have always been a huge mental health advocate, as I have dealt with my own mental health/wellness and have been seeing a psychiatrist since I was 13 or 14 for anxiety. In high school I struggled a lot with self esteem and self doubt. I feel it’s very important to reach young adults in that age group (teenagers) because I know how hard high school was and how difficult it can feel to try to fit in and meet the standards of the “cool kids”.
What inspired you to start this group?
My youngest sister, Jaedra started her first known suicide attempts just as I felt I was finally able to control my own mental health. As I was finally able to start recognizing my own irrational anxious thoughts and working towards mental wellness, that’s when Jaedra was starting to show her signs of depression. She was in grade eight at this time.
Her attempts got worse and worse overtime that she almost died in November of 2014. She was in the ICU for 3 days until she was stable and moved to Children’s Hospital for a month. In this time the doctors were convinced her brain injury due to a lack of oxygen “cured” her impulsive actions and her want to die. She was sixteen and had everyone fooled except us, her family and close friends.
In June of 2015 she died at the age of 17. When she died, a photo of her was being shared a lot on Facebook and Instagram of a photo shoot she had done a few years prior. It showed her with a braid and flowers intertwined in the braid. This is where we got the name She Wore Flowers in Her Hair.
What events do you have planned in the community?
This is our third year hosting an event which is on June 9th. The event begins at noon till 5 pm and is an outdoor music festival type event. The location of the event is 1923 Kelburn Rd, just 10 mins south of St.Norbert off HWY75.
We will have live bands that are all local Winnipeg bands and have a connection to mental illness, as is the same with our key note speakers. What I love most about them is that they are all young and can relate to the audience we are seeking to reach (15-25 year olds) but all are welcome to the event!
Our bands include: Garrett & Nazeem, Olivia Lunny, Take Me Two LA, Chris Harris Caroline Shultz & Kiera hahlweg
Our key note speakers include: Kaylyn Holmes, Aly Raposo, and Brysen Johnson
We also have a ton of activities going on throughout the day:
– a few sessions of outdoor yoga by Moksha Yoga
– Axe throwing by Lumber Jax
– Braid Bar – get a cute bun or pony tail for free by Kiera Memka
– Free Lunch by Pony Corral – served 1-3pm
– Photobooth by Photomonkey and free photos
– Volley ball tournament with prizes
– Silent auction
– Kids Activities, face paint, magician
– Local Vendors Market with some proceeds going to mental health initiatives
– a flower wing wall for instagram photos
– a Flower Crown Workshop with an additional cost of $5
We will also have a ton of resources and peer support around all day to talk to or to find further information:
– Mood Disorder Association of Manitoba & their peer support
– Jack.org a U of M student mental health group
– Sending you Strength – clothing company and resources and a bunch more
How can people help?
People can volunteer by finding us on Facebook: She Wore Flowers in Her Hair and searching for the group: Volunteers for She Wore Flowers in Her Hair 2018 on FB
We’re also on Instagram: @officialsheworeflowers and Snapchat: sheworeflowers
Our website is: https://sheworeflowersinherhairblog.wordpress.com/
Tickets are $15 and can be bought online at: https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/she-wore-flowers-in-her-hair-2018-tickets-45034830390 or by messaging us to buy in person as well at Crossroads Insurance in St. Vital
Are there any challenges you have had to overcome when starting this organization?
We are a group of 24, 25 year olds (and my mom). We have never organized anything in our lives so we are always learning and asking for help. But we’ve actually been contacted and reached out to by so many people who want to help – like edit our poster, donate, do a workshop etc – we feel so grateful and blessed for all the help!
The stigma behind suicide is challenging. When people find out my sister died by suicide they have this assumption of who she is and was. For example “oh she must have been a loser with no friends, skipped school, had a bad childhood and terrible family and did drugs”. But no, my sister was a beautiful straight A student. She was friends with every group and made friends where ever she went, she was very outgoing and loved to laugh and joke around! She played on every sports team in school and didn’t do drugs or have a drinking problem and her family and friends were the most important thing in her life! So trying to break that stigma and judgement, I never say “committed suicide” because that adds to the stigma and makes it sound so horrible. She had a terminal illness and passed away – she died by suicide.
I wish it could have been her going to schools and sharing her story of how she overcome it all but unfortunately her story ended a bit too soon. Her friends and family are still trying to make sense of it all – it is very traumatic and we still wake up and feel like a wave is crashing over us like we’re just finding her (passed away) again and finding out she died. But I feel like this event has helped us too in our grieving process and helps us feel like she is still here and a piece of her is helping others who are still here and still fighting. We want to help them on their recovery journey to mental health and mental wellness and find new ways to control their anxiety and their irrational thoughts. For example, no, just because you accidentally looked at someone and they didn’t smile they don’t hate you and they won’t remember it for the rest of their lives and hold a grudge. We want people to learn how to manage their irrational thoughts and have that other voice telling them that no you ARE good enough and you WILL be okay, you will make it through this night one more time, take it day by day.
At the end of the first event three people had come up to us and told us they were considering suicide but our event, our speakers and support and love they felt made them reconsider. I think that is the most important part and makes the entire event worth it! Since then we continuously get messages and people reaching out to us for advice/help/support or telling us how we’ve affected them. It’s amazing to hear it and know that we are making a difference even if it’s just one person we know that tonight they are safe for one more night!
What advice can you give to people who are going through something similar?
There is always hope and someone who has been in your situation. You are never alone! There is always someone who wants you alive and wants you here. Suicide is not the answer. Your life is invaluable. From my personal experience suicide doesn’t end your pain; it passes it on to the people you love. I like to think everything happens for a reason and we use these experiences to grow from and help others. People don’t know about all the amazing resources available to them, there’s new ones coming out every day! Blogs, Clothing Lines – I really like Wear Your Label, Sending You Strength, Stay Alive Clothing, Instagram, groups/clubs, its endless the amount of support and people really want to help because they know what it’s like and have been through it. They want you here.
